Bloody Bulgarians


Snatching Stephen Mangan`s Twitter for a title, I couldn`t help responding to the latest Why-would-we`d-wanted-more-imigrants  trend in the UK with anything but making fun of it. The not being in the same league Romanians and Bulgarians are now free to visit UK. I can`t say that`s exactly a massive news, considering the long history of immigration United Kingdom has had. The anyway hospitable British cauldron full of international soup, keeps filling up with new species. Adding a pinch of salt on would hardly change much. Bulgarians especially are fairly small nation – eight or so millions. If reproducing the nation will not take over soon, we all might enjoy the last exhibits of that nation, not to mention how much their own Sotheby`s price would soar.

From the other hand both countries have a good supply of certified Romani, some of which are shown on the telly as a nine days` wonder when get in university. There is no one to blame for that. You can`t choose prenatally which collection of eggs to join, so nature wings it. As is always the way and even you try to hide it, it is your culture that would give you away. ” You need to have at least two children, because one of them may go to prison” – is a part of that folklore. And another naughty one – “When you counterfeit banknotes at home, do both sides because you can`t fob intelligent people off  with those” is actually a very sensible idea.

How can you not have some of that?

Abort congrats


I chose not to believe I was wrong congratulating my sister-in-law after gleefully announcing she was pregnant. Not until I caught my nephew, few years later with his pants down frying ants with magnifying glass in a more sunny than grumpy day. It just hit me as a jackpot, what women get congratulate for anyway? For the un-avoidance of becoming too big size-wise and therefore hard to miss, for the act of getting laid two months ago or for having fertile husbands that is still good news, however only for you. Congratulations for your reproductive system didn`t happen to br faulty? No one congratulates me for having handsome skeleton or state-of-the-art liver, an organ i can`t live without! Everyone, including those who shouldn`t know yet know what sex is, how to do it yourself or involving another person /of your choice/ and what book to reference to ace it. It isn`t that big deal. If Nature give you a green card to breed, in most cases you`ll tickled pink, isn`t it? The way I see it and when on the right setting, blokes in general are great with these things. Not everyone gives a damn how the work is done as long as it`s finished. Regardles of whether you are a trying-hard amateur or a Kama Sutra virtuoso with your own touch to the Plough position in which you engage the upper half of your body play whichever WarCraft or tweet your very current status, you still do what you have to do satisfactory. Then your girl gets applause for what? You tell me. Even if you get lucky conceiving after a lengthy course of IVF treatment, the person who performs the technique on you should be congratulated louder. I don`t talk about the rest of the story now once you get on skates.
With a very few exceptions, if we can make joke here, there haven`t been girls gunning for somebody keen on raping them so they get congratulations too. If that`s the case and there is a baby on the way, shall we congratulate them? That is a vintage rhethorical question.
I know that`s the very tip of politeness most people apply as perfume on the mechanism of friendship, in this case slightly reduntant otiose, surplus like junk mail or your army of gadgets.